wail
by Ferrum
Summary: 'twas when Clive cannot make his decision, should he betray his friends or betray the guild. Little Clive/Elza romance... well, maybe NOT a little.


wail

Suikoden I-II, Suikogaiden, Suikoden Card Stories (c)Konami/1995-2001. Spoiler: best ending Suikoden II, Suikogaiden. Time: After Suikoden II, before Suikogaiden II.

fanfiction.net seemed had disabled all the bolds and italics in here. to see a better version of this fic please go to: http://www.geocities.com/lemonishida/files/wail.htm If you're reading this from there, then... no problem.

wail v. & n. 1 (utter) a long sad cry. 2 lament. *v. 1 cry,howl, lament, sob, weep.

Wailing... for how many times have I dreamed that act... But can't... I never could do that... Funny to say that, because I come from Howling Voice Guild. But, I couldn't howl myself... Storm, don't you think so too?

It's an expression to express when you're sad, or something like that, right? Howling... If I'm thinking about that again, do I even know what sad is?

Storm, why did things happen like this? Are you the one who make it like this? What power do you have so you can destroy everything between us... Kelley, Elza and I... How could you do this to us? Storm? Why did you change everything? Why did you make things different between us?

The blonde haired man closed his both deep brown eyes, lost in his own flying thoughts, his right hand clutched a black air gun, a sacred gun from Howling Voice Guild of Harmonia. His back leaned to the wall, and he just there, on the bed, here at the inn in Sajah Village.

After the victory of Jowston-Alliance Army, he left without any word and return there, to the place where he killed his best friend, the woman he was falling in love, long ago--- No, maybe I'm still... He sighed.

He opened his eyes, and turned his gaze to the place outside the window, the forest behind the inn, and a small reddish mound of earth with a small dellicate gray stone, a small grave he made for Elza, burried with all his feelings for her... and Kelley.

His duty was finished. He should return to the Guild. But, he felt that he would betray two of his best friends if he do that. If I don't return, will they send a new executioner for me, for retrieving Storm, Star and Moon? He looked at the three guns he had in his hands.

If he returned, he would be the new guildmaster, after all, he was the only one who could wield Sturm, after Elza... and the past guildmaster. But, if he was the guildmaster, nothing would change, the Elders would still rule above him...

He decided to take a look again to her grave, to decide his mind up, to finish everything he had in his small piece of his heart for long. He strolled outside his room, with Storm, Star and Moon, opening the door and found...

"Nash Latkje." He hissed.

"Whoa!" The blonde haired man in front of him jumped. "Clive!"

He stared at the handsome emerald-eyed man, still wearing all his black robe, still keeping all his secret equipments somewhere behind the sheets of clothes he wore, and his Groß Fluß, Weiß and Schwarz were still sheathed, there... he saw it.

"Hmph." Clive smiled. "What a pleasant surprise, where the last time did I meet you?"

"Muse." Nash forced a grin, seeing Storm which Clive got in his strong grip, he had his hands steady to every movement the man in front of him made. "What are you doing here?"

Clive too noticed Nash's alerted hands for his Groß Fluß, the legendary swords, heirloom of Latkje family of Harmonia and warned himself that Nash was originally graduated from Howling Voice Guild too, a special student... He shrugged, "I don't have any intention to fight."

"Huh?"

Clive smiled, a little bit, making Nash wanted to run as fast as he could, because... there was something strange there, Clive never smiled. "I'm not interested in your mission, Latkje. I'm not going to ask what you are doing here."

"That's---" Nash stopped, searching for words. "great?"

"Hmph, whatever." Clive walked away when Nash suddenly spotted something behind Clive's back robe, he then halted him, grabbing Clive's arm in a strong grasp. "What are you---"

"Those are Moon and Star!!!!" Nash shouted. "What are they doing there!? It supposed to be in Elza's---"

Before Nash could continue his yells, Storm's mouth was waiting right in front of his eyes. "Watch you mouth, Latkje. You don't know what you are doing."

"..." Nash silenced for a while. "Where's Elza?"

"Hmph." Clive smirked. "You want to meet Elza?"

***

Nash Latkje was standing there, dumbfounded, in front of a small piled soil and a small soft stone. In there slept Elza, the named-traitor of Harmonia's Howling Voice Guild, the former and now guildmasters' best friend, and also... his friend. "You killed her, Clive?"

"Yes." Clive answered without hesitation.

"Oh." Nash didn't give further response. Clive was watching the former Howling Voice Guild's student, stood his head ducked, and didn't say nor do anything beside that.

Gusts of wind blew over the small village of Sajah, whispering tragic words and accompanying the quiet atmosphere, adding the air of still in the whole silent village and between them...

"Why did you kill her?"

Clive's heart almost jumped from his body. Maybe, it was the question he had feared all these times. His hands were shaking. Why did I kill her? "It's my duty as an executioner." He said, burrying his emotions within the red blood of his flesh. Yes, that was the best answer he knew.

"Executioner?" Nash questioned again, didn't bother to turn his back to see Clive. "I thought you were his best friend."

Best friend? Clive gasped, tried to save some air in his throat. That time I thought we was more than that... A deep voice in his heart sounded. "I was."

"No!" Nash suddenly turned his body. "I know you were more than that! I know Kelley, you and her raised in the guild together, grew together, you're equals! Even I know you and Kelley were trying to get her heart! I know and you knew too, Clive, what did really happen in the Guild back then! You know Elza wouldn't do something like that!"

"I know that."Clive tried to keep the firmness of his voice tone, trying his best so the man in front of him didn't know that he was about to scream in loss.

"So WHY DID YOU KILL HER!!!??" Nash roared, right after Clive finished his sentence.

Clive didn't give any response for a while, then he replied, with the same answer he said before. "Because it's my duty as an excutioner... and guildmaster."

"---Tsk!" Nash clenched his fist, gritting his teeth, and his deep green eyes were melting. "You don't have a better answer, do you!!??"

"Careful with your words, Latkje." Clive countered, mirroring the arch of Nash Latkje's eyes. "I do not have a better answer than that, and you know it."

Nash then narrowed his eyes in surprise, realizing what Clive had said, knowing what Clive meant. "I... I'm sorry."

Clive eyed him with a pair of wild eyes. "Latkje, don't think so highly on yourself. Who are you to think that your acts could make me sunk to a mental prison. If you could do that, I'm sure that you're the one who could hold Storm right now."

Nash raised one of his eyebrows. "Look who's talking now." He then sighed and turned back to Elza's graveyard. "Elza was a wonderful loving woman."

Clive didn't response to his sentence, he knew very well that he couldn't.

"She couldn't even kill a dog when you all were children playing in the field." Nash kneeled and rubbed the tombstone of her graveyard carefully. "Kelley, you and her... three little innocent kids, enter the cruel world of guns and blood." He stopped and then laughed miserably. "Like I'm not..."

After a long silence, Nash stood to his feet, turning to see Clive who looked at the furthest horizon within his sight, trying to gaze at something that wasn't there. Those eyes.... he thought for a while. "I don't want to engross myself to your problems, Clive. But you know, I'm really want to know... who did Elza pick when you both declared your loves for her?"

Clive's eyes tensed. "Shut your damn mouth, Latkje. If you'd finished your business, go away."

"I want to go back to Harmonia, maybe we can go together?"

"Hmph." Clive smirked. "I'm not interested and I'm not helping you."

"Ah, you're so cruel, Clive."

"Stop acting so sissy." Clive quickly aimed his storm at the spot right between Nash's eyes, a wide cruel smile formed by his lips.

"Okay, okay, just put that black thing away." Nash rose both of his hands, surrendered. He took his belongings and turned away after giving Clive a look. By the time he almost disappeared from his sight, he said the words that Clive could not ignore.

"Just recall what you have in the past, Clive. Dream what you will do in the future, but don't forget what you're doing now... You're living for today. When you know your answers, you know what you're going to do... and just remember, you live for yourself."

Faded footsteps followed the low voice of Nash Latkje, leaving Clive alone with Storm, Moon, Star and Elza's grave. Flashes of past memories played before him...

"So, this is how you had become, eh? Try to get me if you can, boy."

"Clive, if something happens to me. Please, just follow your own path."

"I'm alright Clive, really."

"Don't talk, Clive... You don't know what will happen to you when he hears it."

"Just... don't leave me alone..."

"Clive, it's very strange."

Clive stopped his walk, turning his back to see one of his childhood friends, hands in front of her chin, eyes half closed. No matter how bad was the situation, he knew that Elza was truly a beauty. "What's the matter?"

"Do you sense something strange about Kelley?" She said, resuming her road.

"What do you mean?" He followed her, matching his feet with hers. "Kelley's a guildmaster now, you don't have to worry about him. He's strong and I'm sure he's well-protected."

"You don't know what I mean, do you, Clive?" She wrinkled her eyebrows, looking at him suspiciously. "Feh."

He stormed back with the same expression. "I don't know, and I will *not* know until you tell me what's going on and don't look at me like I'm your little brother."

Elza looked at her walking feet and then singed without any expression. "Clivy and Minny sitting in a tree---"

"Okay, OKAY! Elza, stop that stupid song, don't call me Clivy and who the hell is this *Minny*?"

Elza once more halted her steps and watched Clive with interest.

"What?"

"Minny IS what I call the little white hamster which lives in the hole in my room." She smirked.

"A mouse?" Clive stared with disbelief. "You match me with a mouse? You---"

"Elza." 

A voice then made the atmosphere changed. Clive looked to see the owner of the voice that he knew to well, his best friend... for exact.

Kelley went to Elza and kissed her cheek before he asked. "Hello, Elza and Clive." He nodded to the other man. "How are you feeling?"

"Well... I supposed..." Clive eyed Kelley's hand that were on her shoulder. "And how are you know, mister Guildmaster?"

"Fine as you're always be." He smiled. Then he returned to Elza, to talk what he wanted to. "I had spoken with the Elders." At this time he saw Elza gulped. "The time will be taken at 2000 hours. The Elders will brought Mond and Stern. Don't forget." He saw her wince when Kelley grasped her shoulder and went away.

"Mond and Stern?" Clive eyed her. "Hey, don't tell me that---"

"The time has come for me, Clive." She touched his shoulder, the place where Kelley touched her the last. "There will be no regret."

"What you are talking about, Elza?" Elza didn't answer. "Elza, are you arlight!?"

After a few seconds, Elza gazed to Clive eyes. "I'm alright Clive, really." She stepped forward, then said. "Clive, if something happens to me. Please, just follow your own path."

"Elza, what are you talking about!?"

Elza didn't reponse.

The present Clive halted his eyes at the simple grave in front of him. He moved his lips, his voice couldn't be heard, except by the grave.  
"How should I know what you're going to do back then?"

Elza stepped out her room. She clenched her fists, looking at the golved hands. The Guild's uniform, she looked fixedly at her reflection in the mirror. "It's the last time I wear you." She said, walking to the door, opened and closed it... so simple, when she realized an edge of a shadow touching her shoes.

"Clive." She smiled.

"You're going, are you?" He watched him, expressionlessly. "I don't know what's going on. You and Kelley are weird since 3 days ago."

"So, you notice." She sighed. "That's good, you're not as dumb as I thought you are."

"I'm pretended to be." He said with a flat tone. "I thought it was the best for you and Kelley."

"You're too good to be stupid."

Another long silence.

"What are you coming here for?" It was too late when she noticed him stand before her, staring to his eyes, longfully... and sad... "What are those eyes for?"

"I just want to say the unsaid words. I don't want to regret it if I don't say it."

She shook her head. "I already know. Don't talk, Clive... You don't know what will happen to you when he hears it."

"Nothing will happen." He replied, his eyes were bright and so intense... "I wouldn't let you go. Just give me more time..." He was anxious, his hands were paralized a while... until he had the courage to bring her in his arms, holding her.

"Clive!" She whispered.

"Just for a while..." He uttered back, almost soundlessly.

A while it was... when she noticed something flowing from her eyes, tears... It was almost years... The last time she had cried was when her parents left her. That was tears of anger and fear... This was... tears of... what?

He wasn't aware of her hands... He wasn't aware of anything beside her presence, her scent when those two hands reached his cheeks... and a soft wail of her voice uttered, "No, Clive... there's a lot of time..."

The present Clive clutched Storm which was still in his hand, the other clenched itself tightly, until it almost produced blood from the dirty hand... killer's hand.  
"Who did Elza pick when you both declared your loves for her?"  
Nash's voice turned back to his brain.

"I don't know." He gritted his teeth. "I don't know that was that my answer or not. Tell me now, Elza, did you show me your love that night, or was it I who rape you without mercy?"

"Clive, if something happens to me. Please, just follow your own path." She retold him.

"You sound like you're about to die." He stated back. He sat as he watched his newfound love dress herself. "That's stupid."

She put the gloves on her hands. "As you were not?"

"A gunner fight to live... not to die." He said as he walked towards the door. "But I not want either you or Kelley to die. I don't know how to live if I lost one of you."

"You can, Clive." She answered. "You know how to live."

"That day I will live for revenge." He declared before he closed the door. "Don't die."

The door was closed, blam it voiced and a click followed. Her eyes followed every last move and her ears to every last sounds... She would treasure it, there was no assurance that she would hear those common sound again.

"Don't die, eh?" She smiled to herself, sad smile, sarcastic smile. "I won't die..." She hugged herself, remembering the last moments she had shared with him, her first and her last... "Just... don't leave me alone..."

Clive just stood still behind the door, he heard her words... but it was no use to enter the door again. After this, she must enter the battlefield... there, she would face everthing in her own.

But he didn't expect what she would do... Another whril of wind, blew through the present Clive. He ran his hands to the sun colored hair. He could still feel Kelley's grip and his last words.

"Storm... you're his new owner, Clive." The weak voice uttered from his bleeding mouth. "What are you crying for...?"

"Damnit!" He cursed to himself and all things that were happened so fast. "How could it end like this!?"

"Don't... talk like that... Clive... I'm happy now..." Kelley slowly closed his eyes. "Elza said... she loves me... and..."

A gunfire ended his life in an instant. Clive turned his head quickly to see one of the elders, with a gun pointed at Kelley's heart. "It was the best way to end his sufferings..."

"Kelley..." Clive bit his lip.

Another elder came in, reporting to the elder who had shot Kelley before. "Stern and Mond was taken, by Elza... I presume."

Clive heart's stopped when he heard her name, his hands were still on Kelley's cold ones.

"We were prepared for the battle, but not for death... I never thought that Kelley would surrender that easily."

"Surrender?" Clive's teary eyes querried the Elders.

"Yes." One of the Elders answered. "We were outside, while the duel was in this room, locked. We heard Stern's voice but we couldn't heard Mond's... that's why we thought... Kelley didn't shot Elza..."

"And Elza..." shot Kelley. Clive continued in his heart.

"Now what should we do?"

Clive stood, taking his hands off Kelley's and clasped Storm. "I am the new Guildmaster, chosen by the past guildmaster and the Storm himself."

Both of the Elders present widened their eyes, looking at the gun. 

"Storm's vibrating..."

Yes. Present Clive regarded Storm in his right hand. "That time the Elders really saw it. You vibrated that time, Storm, you wanted me as the new guildmaster, didn't you?" He still remember the trembling of his voice at his first encounter with Elza after that incident...

"I had receieved my first task, to take back Mond and Stern and acted as an excutioner for the killer of Kelley, Elza." Clive pointed Storm at the chased woman at the distance of shoot in front of him.

"Clive, it's a long time." She answered, cold smirk on her face. Scar, long scar of betrayal was the evidence was showed in front of him. 

"Do not talk. I came to fulfill my task." Clive still aimed Storm's mouth for her.

"So, this is how you had become, eh?" She shook her head and gazed at him with regret. "Try to get me if you can, boy." 

"Shut your mouth, woman!"

"Clive... live..."

He dropped Storm, his hands could not bare its weight again... Storm was too heavy for him... Now, it layed there, in front of the graveyard, looked like trying to return to the previous owner... before himself.

He stared awely to the wet spot right before the end of his feet, it came from above, but it was not raining...

Then, did he cry? He touched the end of his eye. Yes, he cry. But he didn't want to... It just came out like that... he didn't want to... He didn't have regrets... He didn't have any... did he?

"Who did Elza pick when you both declared your loves for her?"

"You don't love me, do you? You didn't let me say that I loved you that night. I hadn't spoken those words for you. You said to Kelley that you loved him when he died, yet you didn't say anything when you died in front of me! Am I the only one who was manipulated... by the Elders, by Kelley, by you... even by Storm?"

Unwanted tears keep on falling why he continued the soundless cry. A mute wail...

"Just recall what you have in the past, Clive. Dream what you will do in the future, but don't forget what you're doing now... You're living for today. When you know your answers, you know what you're going to do... and just remember, you live for yourself."

"This what I always wanted... I wanted to live with you, with Kelley, far away from the place called Howling Guild..." 

"Don't forget what you're doing now... You're living for today."

"Guildmaster, Clive. How that sounds for you, young one?" The Elders eyes watched Storm. "You have responsibility to lead, to judge and to conclude the fate of this Guild. You had the right to bring it to your own path."

He closed his eyes for a while, then opened again with an emotionless gaze. "Listen Elza, because I won't say it anymore..."

Zephyr blew once more, moving through the forest, to the sky... A dry sentence ride on it, the last sentence of emotions that he would never say again.

***

"Stupid Insensible Clive." Nash commented as he watched Clive left the grave and Storm still laying on it. "Have mercy on the guild."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Yes, that's the end of it. Simple, strange, quick and stupid. Yes, Clive was trying to destroy the Guild... because he had the right of course... Well, it's not too good since this is the first fanfic since I stopped writing for about 3 months and now I'm writing one in the middle of finals! (I haven't study for tomorrow's ::laugh::) Sorry for the grammar and vocab errors and give me your comments.  
Oh yeah, about some speech, I read from Blue Moon's forum about Elza's Past though I knew it when I played Suikogaiden I part 3 (if I don't mistaken). According to him, Elza said to Kelley; "I loved you and Clive from the bottom of my heart." Haha, see the misunderstanding? Credits for him too.  
Ferrum  
November 28th, 2001  
http://dive.to/ferrum  
ferrum@Hogwarts-alumni.co.uk


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